Sexual Healing

Let’s talk about sexual healing.

Somatic Sexual Healing, sexual healing at a cellular level.

There are more and more healers who address the second chakra, the sexual centre, in a therapeutic context. Their purpose being to assist people in releasing held energies that no longer serve them.

When we experience any trauma to any degree we either process it and release it or we hide it away in our bodies to deal with later, if at all. Usually we opt to hide it in our bodies, especially in places we don’t think others will go looking for it.

The first chakra is our place of personal power and well-being. It affects our feeling of survival, of confidence, feeling grounded and calm. The second chakra  governs our emotional and sensual well-being, our vitality. When the energy there is flowing well we feel sensual, sexy, desired, alive. It activates all of our senses as well as our intuitive and emotional feelings.

The issues can be anything from rape, to shame from family judgements, the sexual shadows in our society from commercialisation to repression, to the frustration of an incomplete sexual experience or a disappointing first sexual experience, or sexual rejection by a current or potential partner. All of these impact on how we see ourselves and interact with others. Yet we tend to look at our issues and look at what someone else has been through, we compare and then we say that our problem is no big deal … but in the universe of our bodies it is a big deal. A huge deal.

I was in Italy recently participating in a Shamballa Tantra workshop. Half of the group were women. The ages ranging from early 20s to mid 60s. We came from Africa, America, Europe, Australia and New Zealand. Each woman in that room had been sexually abused at some stage in some form.

We don’t need to remember what happened or when it happened to know that there is an opportunity for healing.

There’s a saying… The issues are in the tissues. That stuff we store in our bodies. Take the time to really feel what’s in your body, feel what your body wants to release without suppressing that feeling out of the fear of feeling. That stuff will stay in your body for as long as you let it, rent free.

If we are willing to investigate what’s there, then there’s an opportunity for the tissues, having been acknowledged, to actually let things go. So any trauma, wounding, frustration that is being held in our bodies, sexual or otherwise, has the chance to be released when we are present in our bodies and allow ourselves to really feel what’s there. The healing happens through the feeling and the feeling is accessed through being fully present in the physical body. Too many people think that the body is merely there to carry the head around.

We are beings of pleasure and joy, not of pain. When we allow the process to happen, it may include pain or simply a change in perspective, either way great joy is on the other side.

One of the simplest ways to be present in our bodies is just with our breath. Consciously moving and using our breath and being with whatever arises. The body is wise.

When we really want to speed up the process, we use breath, sound and movement. Sometimes making sound can be the hardest of all because we have been taught not to. Sound brings a primal component that allows the healing to be faster.

I have three children. Children know how to combine breath, sound and movement perfectly. They throw themselves on the ground and have a tantrum. They kick and scream  and huff and puff … and then they are done. Yet so many kids are not allowed to complete that process, usually because they can choose the most inappropriate places for it. So we learn how to not do that, but if we can learn to do this safely as an adult, we can really move a lot of energy really fast.

Tantrums are wonderfully freeing but please take note of the following: you want to make sure that you won’t harm yourself or anything else, so you need a soft surface with enough room to move, wear some loose clothing, take your jewelry off and naturally find an appropriate place where you feel free and safe to express your feelings.

There is an incredible freedom in this release whether it is letting go of something that occurred earlier in the day or something that happened decades ago.  Shame, guilt, rage, frustration and anger are given a safe outlet. In this release lies the joy. This build up and release doesnt just have to be about shadow aspects. I have thrown tantrums before, simply to celebrate being able to feel a range of emotions, laughing from beginning to end. Celebrating my humaness and bathing in the bliss.

In my practice, when I talk clients through this exercise I often get the raised eyebrow, until they lie down and actually do it. Sometimes slowly and reluctantly at first before they gain momentum and really give it stick. There is so much beauty in seeing the light go on.

Often in this journey of healing we discover a pivotal piece, that when this aspect is resolved, other aspects of our lives fall into place easily. For many, a pivotal aspect of healing and returning to wholeness is sexuality.This sexual journey of healing and remembering ourselves can be one of the most powerful experiences we have as human beings, uncovering the depths of who we really are.

Wanting to release that frozen energy that no longer serves us, wanting to be in that state of joy is a huge part of self-love.

To clarify self-love we need to look at selfless-love and selfish-love.

With selfless-love, we give and give and give until there is nothing left and then we feel useless, used and resentful towards all those who took and took and took. The martyr.

In selfish-love we take and take and take, we exist in a vacuum and will drain others trying to fill a void in us.

With self-love, we understand that we have to love ourselves in order to really love others and allow others to love us. We replenish ourselves when we need to and give to others when we can. It is a place of beauty and balance.

Now we have merrily meandered our way to this point:

We are a part of the collective Oneness. What we do and think effects everything. So here is the key … Taking the time to self-love, self-pleasure, share sexual pleasures or heal sexually, with the intention of sending loving, healing energy to yourself and out into the world is phenomenally powerful.

Take a moment for the impact of that to sink in.
  • You feeling the depths of your love for your self has an energetic ripple effect.
  • You pleasuring yourself, making love with yourself while being fully present, has an energetic ripple effect.
  • You making love with a partner and being fully engaged, dancing in the blissful union, has an energetic ripple effect.
  • You healing sexually and finding the immense joy in that freedom of casting off those chains, has an energetic ripple effect.

We are a part of the collective Oneness. The power we hold to bring more healing, more love and light into this world is phenomenal.


9th August 2012

The Best of Me Women’s Day with Rochelle Miller

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